intelligent dog video

Researchers have directed broad exploration in the field of canine knowledge, despite the fact that most puppy proprietors know of it direct. Here are some genuine samples of their amazing astuteness, beginning with the latest:
July 2010:
Canine caught in sweltering auto blares for help
Gardner ran an errand and brought Max with her. When she got back home a brief timeframe later, she went inside the house, overlooking Max was still in the auto. The pooch spared his own life by blaring the horn to get himself out of an, extremely overheated auto.
April 2010:
Canine leads police to flame and its harmed proprietor
Amigo and his proprietor, 23-year-old Ben Heinrichs, were in the family workshop on the Caswell Lakes property April 4 when a radiator touched off chemicals.
Heinrichs, who maintained minor glimmer blazes all over, dashed out as the flame developed. He then told Buddy "we have to get help."
The pooch took off and in the end found a trooper reacting to a call about the flame. Mate drove the officer through twisting byways to the house and the trooper guided firefighters to the scene.
Might 2010:
Canine spares proprietor from unavoidable passing
A 68-year-old violin producer from Zagreb has been spared from unavoidable passing after his canine cautioned neighbors when he fell into an insulin comma. Krsto Pekic was spared after his canine Rex started hitting into the front entryway and making enough clamor for neighbors to hear him. They called police and fire contenders who broke into the condo and took the oblivious Pekic to healing center.

Read More

World's Fattest Woman

An Iowa mother who measures 765lb is attempting to get on an unscripted television show on the grounds that she trusts it is the best way to spare her life.
Philanthropy Pierce discovers moving around so troublesome that she is practically house bound, however specialists close to her Cedar Rapids home say she must thin down to 500lb preceding they can issue her a gastric band.
The 38-year-old has been shortlisted to show up on TLC's My 600lb Life and a doctor's facility in Houston is willing to work, however just on the off chance that she can get to Texas for an arrangement before the end of April.
Since Ms Pierce, who is the fattest lady on the planet, has built up a therapeutic condition called lymphedema, which has created an enormous swelling to her left side leg, she no more fits effortlessly into a general auto.
To make the 1,000 mile excursion to Texas the single parent would need to contract a private rescue vehicle, and she is as of now attempting to raise $5,000 to pay for it.
'A specialist in Texas willing to do patients more than 600lb [is] my just trust,' she composed on her Go Fund Me page, which is still a couple of thousand dollars underneath her target.
'The one thing that is going to spare my life is gastric detour. At the same time, I'm a single parent on inability with nobody to depend on other than myself,' she included.
She would like to have the capacity to lose enough weight to have the capacity to watch her girl grow up, furthermore so she can have a fantasy wedding to her 22-year-old sweetheart, Tony Sauer.
'I'm resolved not to need to get hitched at home. I need to have the capacity to stroll up the walkway,' Ms Pierce told Best magazine.
'I plan to wear a wedding dress, cattle rustler boots and a cowgirl cap ... I need to move throughout the night.'
Ms Pierce says she has dependably been on the bigger size, yet her weight issue got to be more awful in the wake of creating lymphedema, which hinders the lymphatic framework and reasons swelling.
'The lymphedema feels like another entire individual. It feels like soot pieces hanging off every one of you the time,' Ms Pierce told ABC9.
The swelling that juts out the side of her leg makes practice and strolling troublesome and has made her altogether house bound as she battles to fit inside autos.
She initially swung to TV show specialists for help in 2012, when she discharged a feature on YouTube arguing for somebody to get her case to Dr Phil.
She clarified that she created lymphedema in 2001 in the wake of tumbling down a flight of stairs, and afterward needed to battle off Necrotizing Facitis, the tissue eating microorganisms, in her stomach area.
'They needed to remove 40lb of dead muscle and tissue. My left side looks just as a shark made some real progress on it,' Ms Pierce said.
The single parent said she is dead set to get in shape so she can live to see her girl, Charly, graduate and get hitched.

Read More

My best relationship is with my dog

The pack of fiery debris is no greater than a dimebag, however thick with the dim stays of what had been a darling pooch. The lady close to me mumbles his name—Poochie—when she takes the pack from a vet tech who can just say that he's too bad. I immediately wish I hadn't heard the name, as though the simple notice of poor destined Poochie will curse my Tova, my German shepherd. She's straightened each of the 80 pounds of herself against my legs, smacking her mouth and yowling.

We are here in light of the fact that Tova started pacing my condo, her tongue shooting out of her nose; she worked her jaws and licked the air. The vet tech who addressed the telephone, the same one who hands Poochie's proprietor a chain and neckline with a heart-molded tag, instructed me to get her immediately: "It could be gastric torsion." Gastric torsion: The midsection, swollen with gas, pulverizes the stomach, squeezes blood from the heart. It could kill my sweet young lady the person who at long last wakes me with head-butts and nestling after the alert has gone off; the person who moves when my key turns in the entryway inside 60 minutes.

An attendant hustles us into a cell-dark exam territory, gets some information about Tova's manifestations and when they began. She squeezes her gloved thumb against Tova's gums; then the vet—a tall lady who swoops silently into the room—manipulates Tova's paunch. All of a sudden, those paint-peeling vapor of canine fart fill the room.

"A terrible instance of colitis," the vet says. "Touchy gut." The main thing the tech hands me is a pill container and a bill. Tova's tail thwaps against the backs of my calves; the weight alleviated, she is back to herself. I ought to be excited, or possibly, quiet. Yet whatever I can believe is that sometime in the future, similar to Poochie's proprietor, I will leave a vet's office with a vacant neckline, with my heart ground up inside a minor plast

Read More

Latest Jokes

I decided to make my password "incorrect" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, "Your password is incorrect." 

A priest is sitting in a confession box and has to go to the bathroom. He calls an alter boy over and says, "I have to go pee and I need you to take over." Not knowing what to do, the alter boy asks for help. The priest says, "Just give them a few Hail Marys and send them on their way." Soon after, a blonde woman walks in the booth and says, "Forgive me father. I have committed a sin. I gave my boyfriend a blowjob." The alter boy is confused, so he asks another nearby alter boy, "What does the priest usually give for a blowjob?" The second alter boy replies, "I don't know about you, but my price is a candy bar and a Pepsi." 

If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to your ego and jump down to your IQ level.

  

A brunette goes into a doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger, presses on her elbow, and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on; everywhere she touches makes her scream with pain. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I dyed my hair. I'm naturally blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."

Q: How can you tell a blonde has been having a bad day?
A: She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.  

Yo momma's so fat that Mount Everest tried to climb her.

Q: Why did the boy eat his homework?
A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.  

This man walks into a bar. He sits on a bar stool & says to the bartender, "Hey jackass, bring me a shot." The bartender brings him a shot. The man slams it down & yells again, "Hey jackass, bring me another shot," and gets up to go to the bathroom. While the man is gone, another guy sitting at the bar asks the bartender, "Why do you let him call you that?" The bartender responds, "He aw- He aw- He always calls me that." 

Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday."  

Q: What do you call a vegan with diarrhea?
A: A salad shooter. 

Q: Why are atoms Catholic?
A: Because they have mass. 

Source : Laughfactory

Read More

Outer Space Jokes

Q: What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A: A marsbar! Submitted by: Sarah

Q: Why did the sun go to school?
A: To get brighter! Submitted by: Kassandra

Q: How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?
A: When it’s full. Submitted by: Devon

Q: what do you call a tick on the moon?
A: A luna-tick

Q:What kind of music do planets sing?
A:Neptunes!

Q: What’s a light-year?
A: The same as a regular year, but with less calories.

Q: Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
A: It wanted to see the mooooooon! Submitted by: Delaney

Q: What do planets like to read?
A: Comet books! Submitted by: Bethany

Q: What did the alien say to the garden?
A: Take me to your weeder! Submitted by: Evan

Q: Why don’t aliens eat clowns?
A: Because they taste funny! Submitted by: Pixey

Q: What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?
A: The space bar! Submitted by: Annie

Q: Why did the cow go to outer space?
A: To visit the milky way. Submitted by: Erin

Q: Where would an astronaut park his space ship?
A: A parking meteor! Submitted by: Lulu

Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!

Q: Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?
A: Because Mercury moved in. Submitted by: LeeAnn

Q: What did the alien say to the cat?
A: Take me to your litter. Submitted by: Shawn and Tony

Q: Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?
A: He was looking for Pluto. Submitted by: Tany

Q: What do you call a loony spaceman?
A: An astronut.

Q: What did the alien say when he was out of room?
A: I’m all spaced out!

Q: What do aliens on the metric system say?
A: Take me to your liter. Submitted by: Macsmom

Q: Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?
A: Because there was no atmosphere.


Source : FUNOLOGY

Read More

Riddles

Q: What has a foot but no legs?
A: A snail

Q: Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?
A: Nothing

Q: What comes down but never goes up?
A: Rain

Q: I’m tall when I’m young and I’m short when I’m old. What am I?
A: A candle

Q: Mary’s father has 5 daughters – Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the fifth daughters name?
A: If you answered Nunu, you are wrong. It’s Mary!

Q: How can a pants pocket be empty and still have something in it?
A: It can have a hole in it.

Q: In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink!
What color were the stairs?
A: There weren’t any stairs, it was a one story house!

Q: A dad and his son were riding their bikes and crashed. Two ambulances came and took them to different hospitals. The man’s son was in the operating room and the doctor said, “I can’t operate on you. You’re my son.”
How is that possible?
A: The doctor is his mom!

Q: What goes up when rain comes down?
A: An umbrella!

Q: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A: Smiles, because there is a mile between each ‘s’

Q: If I drink, I die. If i eat, I am fine. What am I?
A: A fire!

Q: Throw away the outside and cook the inside, then eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?
A: Corn on the cob, because you throw away the husk, cook and eat the kernels, and throw away the cob.

Q: What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
A: Short

Q: What travels around the world but stays in one spot?
A: A stamp!

Q: What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in one thousand years?
A: The letter M

Q: What has 4 eyes but can’t see?
A: Mississippi

Q: If I have it, I don’t share it. If I share it, I don’t have it. What is it?
A: A Secret.

Q: Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?
A: EMPTY

Q: What has hands but can not clap?
A: A clock

Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold.

Q: A house has 4 walls. All of the walls are facing south, and a bear is circling the house. What color is the bear?
A: The house is on the north pole, so the bear is white.

Q: What is at the end of a rainbow?
A: The letter W!

Q: What is as light as a feather, but even the world’s strongest man couldn’t hold it for more than a minute?
A: His breath!

Q: What starts with the letter “t”, is filled with “t” and ends in “t”?
A: A teapot!

Q: What is so delicate that saying its name breaks it?
A: Silence.

Q: You walk into a room with a match, a karosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. Which do you light first?
A: The match.

Q: A man was driving his truck. His lights were not on. The moon was not out. Up ahead, a woman was crossing the street. How did he see her?
A: It was a bright and sunny day!

Q: What kind of tree can you carry in your hand?
A: A palm!

Q: If an electric train is travelling south, which way is the smoke going?
A: There is no smoke, it’s an electric train!

Q: You draw a line. Without touching it, how do you make the line longer?
A: You draw a shorter line next to it, and it becomes the longer line.

Q: What has one eye but cannot see?
A: A needle

Q: A man leaves home and turns left three times, only to return home facing two men wearing masks. Who are those two men?
A: A Catcher and Umpire.

Q: Which weighs more, a pound of feathers or a pound of bricks?
A: Neither, they both weigh one pound!

Q: How many months have 28 days?
A: All 12 months!

Q: A frog jumped into a pot of cream and started treading. He soon felt something solid under his feet and was able to hop out of the pot. What did the frog feel under his feet?
A: The frog felt butter under his feet, because he churned the cream and made butter.

Q: A horse is on a 24 foot chain and wants an apple that is 26 feet away. How can the horse get to the apple?
A: The chain is not attached to anything.

Q: If a blue house is made out of blue bricks, a yellow house is made out of yellow bricks and a pink house is made out of pink bricks, what is a green house made of?
A: Glass

Q: What goes up a chimney down but can’t come down a chimney up?
A: an umberella

Q: We see it once in a year, twice in a week, and never in a day. What is it?
A: The letter “E”

Q: Mr. Blue lives in the blue house, Mr. Pink lives in the pink house, and Mr. Brown lives in the brown house. Who lives in the white house?
A: The president!

Q: They come out at night without being called, and are lost in the day without being stolen. What are they?
A: Stars!

Q: How do you make the number one disappear?
A: Add the letter G and it’s “GONE”

Q; What goes up but never comes down?
A: Your age!
 

Source : FUNOLOGY

Read More

Seasonal Jokes

Spring
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims!

Summer
Q: What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer?
A: A hot dog!
Q: Why do bananas use sunscreen?
A: Because they peel.

Fall
Q. How you mend a broken pumpkin?
A. With a pumpkin patch!
Winter
Q: How do Eskimos make their beds?
A: With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
Q: Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter?
A: They wear snowcaps.
Q: What did the snowman say to the customer?
A: Have an ice day!
Q: What do you call a slow skier?
A: A slopepoke!
Q: Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?
A: Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
Q: Where does a polarbear keep its money?
A: In a snow bank!
Q: What do you call a snowman in the desert?
A: A puddle!
Q: How does an Eskimo stick his house together?
A: With igloo!
Q: What is a snowman’s favorite breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snowbody!


Source : FUNOLOGY

Read More